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Hellth Nuts
Hell Foods.
As the price of Whole Foods stock continues its six-month decline so apparently, has civility within its doors. Having shopped both Boston and New York stores during this period, I can attest that many of Whole Foods patrons are a rude, angry and mean-spirited bunch. Some wear their iPods and take no notice of others around them. They blithely leave their carts in the middle of aisles while they rock out and wander off to shop elsewhere. Others chat loudly and nervously into their cell phones sharing the contents of their private lives and aggravations with anyone within earshot. Then there are the mean, impeccably dressed and bejeweled moms who wield their precious cargo and their groceries like grenades blowing away anyone in their path.
Could all this angst and pushiness be due to Whole Foods phasing out the use of plastic shopping bags? No, that can't be it. These rude folk just love the new reusable bags with the Whole Foods logo splashed across it. They proudly wear these bags even when not shopping at WF. It tells the world, "I'm pure. I'm right-minded. I care about the planet. Now, get out of my way!"
If one is elderly, or uses a cane or just happens to not be feeling so well and unable to move quickly enough for these neurotic entitlistas then beware.
Like Miss Havisham's wedding banquet in Great Expectations, the spread at Whole Foods is impressive. But, the rats have taken over. These newly-pious adherents to a healthy lifestyle have traded the Golden Rule to pursue the Golden Fleece. (Though to be fair, they would never actually wear the fur or eat the meat of the golden ram unless it were grain-fed and free of antibiotics and hormones.)
As they fill up their SUV's and Volvo station wagons with the organic booty they've procured, they drive off fairly confident that they've simultaneously done their bit for world peace and their families alike. But, don't step off the curb just yet, gentle reader. There is every chance in the world they've forgotten the one thing they came for and they will pull a uey through a red light and head straight for you in one last desperate effort to save their souls and their palates from anything less than the very best.
Hell Foods.
As the price of Whole Foods stock continues its six-month decline so apparently, has civility within its doors. Having shopped both Boston and New York stores during this period, I can attest that many of Whole Foods patrons are a rude, angry and mean-spirited bunch. Some wear their iPods and take no notice of others around them. They blithely leave their carts in the middle of aisles while they rock out and wander off to shop elsewhere. Others chat loudly and nervously into their cell phones sharing the contents of their private lives and aggravations with anyone within earshot. Then there are the mean, impeccably dressed and bejeweled moms who wield their precious cargo and their groceries like grenades blowing away anyone in their path.
Could all this angst and pushiness be due to Whole Foods phasing out the use of plastic shopping bags? No, that can't be it. These rude folk just love the new reusable bags with the Whole Foods logo splashed across it. They proudly wear these bags even when not shopping at WF. It tells the world, "I'm pure. I'm right-minded. I care about the planet. Now, get out of my way!"
If one is elderly, or uses a cane or just happens to not be feeling so well and unable to move quickly enough for these neurotic entitlistas then beware.
Like Miss Havisham's wedding banquet in Great Expectations, the spread at Whole Foods is impressive. But, the rats have taken over. These newly-pious adherents to a healthy lifestyle have traded the Golden Rule to pursue the Golden Fleece. (Though to be fair, they would never actually wear the fur or eat the meat of the golden ram unless it were grain-fed and free of antibiotics and hormones.)
As they fill up their SUV's and Volvo station wagons with the organic booty they've procured, they drive off fairly confident that they've simultaneously done their bit for world peace and their families alike. But, don't step off the curb just yet, gentle reader. There is every chance in the world they've forgotten the one thing they came for and they will pull a uey through a red light and head straight for you in one last desperate effort to save their souls and their palates from anything less than the very best.
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