(This is what you or I would look like if we had a politician-sized ego:)
Ronald Hoth, a 56-year-old man who lives with his mother in Florida, was arrested on suspicion of stalking after undercover officers say they spotted him urinating on a neighbor's porch while dressed in a blond wig and "revealing women's clothes."
He was taken into custody after a brief chase, police report.
His mother, Dorothy, tells WKMG-TV that they've lived together for 14 years.
"He was so sorry about it," she tells the paper. "He was practically crying. He said, 'I didn't mean to do it or to hurt you in any way. I just want to come back and do like I did.' He said, 'I will never, never, never do this ever again.'"
Photo from the Osceola County Sheriff's Office.
Or, maybe this on a good day: